PvP mode

I go to meet a member of my party this Lvl 50 Barbarian at the alehouse so he can cheer me the fuck up, said party member has an excellent reputation for bringing cheer. It has been a day of total failure so I am wearing my Lands End Boots/Sports Bra/Shitty Hoodie/Yesterday's pants (- 5 everything, + 10 gayness). The only cool thing I am wearing is my unique Amulet of Bullshit Detection which I totally forget that I have on.

I guess I need to preface this part with a disclaimer. I'm pretty gay but I do make exceptions. So ANYWAY.
I arrive on my dragon mount and enter the alehouse. I order some shitty ale and buy him a pint. I forget we are in PvP mode so I am pretty fucking shocked when he casts Spell of the Infinite: Let's Just Be Friends on me. The spell makes me bleed out of all my face holes and then chew my hands off. I am blinded by blood but I sense that he is laughing at least on the inside. He quaffs a potion to regain mana then starts casting But I Really DO Want To Be Friends over and over again. Thank fuck I am wearing my amulet, right?

For once my dragon mount has his shit together and when I crawl out there on the stumps of my arms he is ready to go. We head back to the inn and I quaff a potion of Cure Critical Wounds which is really just some old Ambien I had saved because part of me knew this would happen. I play WoW until the screen turns into a melty waterfall.

End-of-the-Day Stats:
Sharkslam, Lvl 26 Warrior
STR: 18/130
INT: 13
DEX: 7
WIS: 7
CON: 7
CHA: 1
XP: 320,928
HP: 255/570
MP: 40/110
AC: 50
Gold: 108
+10 GAY