Quest: Flu shots

I go with Mo'thaar to collect Potions of Invincibility and get some rations of food.

The potions are total bullshit but Mo'thaar casts Lvl 1000 Mom-Rage and my capacity for decision making is blasted into a fine mist.

We get into the dungeon and I cast Lvl 7 Grocery Store Swagger which is kind of risky but I roll and I take down a couple flesh golems in the soup aisle. It's great until I hit a oil trap and my pants almost fall down but I have a good saving throw and everything is cool.

We make quick progress until this lard demon teleports in front of us and hits Mo'Thaar with a wand of Chronic Indecisiveness and since I am not a goddamn priest class there isn't much I can do except leave her there and hunt for mangoes in the other aisle. The lard demon plows over Mo'Thaar with the cart but Mo'Thaar eats a Mushroom of Emergency and recovers 250 HP, but she also starts hallucinating heavily.
I leave her there again and go off on this individual mini quest to fight Grocery Store Boyfriend who is essentially this dude that tried to mack on me two years ago in the same dungeon when I was on the same dumbass quest but I knew he had cast a Lvl 10 Cloak of Bullshit around himself to hide his Fail Armor and I returned fire with my Sword of Gayness so he fucking retreated real fast.
This time he sees me coming and tries to cast No Homo but I'm ready for it wearing my Lands End Boots/Carharts/Sports Bra combo and they shine with a light so bright and so fucking gay that he tears his own eyes out immediately.

Anyway so we locate Faarm'cyst at the back guarding the invincibility potions and a quick check tells me he's got 1,000,000 HP and we are straight fucked. I try to retreat but Mo'Thaar expends the rest of her mana casting Lvl 50 Guilt Trip which effectively traps us there AND incapacitates her. Faarm'cyst hits her with two poison darts almost immediately and she is down for the count. I try to cast Lvl 5 Retroviral Allergy but that apparently doesn't exist and he hits me with the darts too. My stamina decreases by 80% and my gauntlets of fire are blasted all to fuck. He is about to finish us off when some other players show up apparently looking for the same bullshit potions and he starts fighting them. I read a Scroll of Recall and teleport us the fuck back to our dragon mounts and we roll out. Quest was total fail except I reamed GSBoyfriend again.


End-of-the-Day Stats:
Sharkslam, Lvl 26 Warrior
STR: 18/180
INT: 15
DEX: 17
WIS: 12
CON: 12
CHA: 12
XP: 320,409
HP: 109/570
MP: 0/110
AC: 58
Gold: 108
POISONED